Sunday 14 September 2014

Journal-esque notes

I've been, and perhaps always had difficulty remembering memories. Talk of them makes me wonder if my relationship with my memories, are different from those that others have, with their memories. All that remains in place of what, I assume, should be something more than random glimpses of images, is just that. On top of that I believe these glimpses of images are heavily aesthetically skewed, or altogether made up, by concepts of fascination at the time. So it would not surprise you or, in this case since I am writing for myself, me when I say I don't know who exactly I am. Attempts at thinking back or surfacing recollections of my cognitive state at a previous time are futile, resembling attempts at entering buildings and rooms, whose interior does not exist, in games, or exploring my physical surroundings, of which I'm unaware of the state or any significant details, though my imagination or in my dreams.

Anyway so as you've read I do find myself an enigma in many ways. Unriddling these hidden knots in my understanding of self or myself will perhaps further my understanding of others as well. I intend, well it's really doesn't matter whether I desire it or not, self discovery is immanent in being alive, on being on a journey of self discovery throughout my life, or at least most of my life as I probably will want to lay this beast and companion down at some point. Getting back on point, this is why I will be recording my thoughts and observations of my psychological inclinations on this blog, leaving little notes and posts about my currant psychological whereabouts, to keep track of, organize (or maybe not as I usually find myself creating chaos rather then calming it), study and leave fractions of my psychic state, at the time of writing, for an older me, in order to assist him on the same journey I am on.